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Avast, ye scurvy-ridden bilge rats! The madcap pirate captain’s howlin’ for the most monstrous, wobblin’, sky-scrapin’ cargo this measly splinter of a ship’s ever seen—so quit yer gawpin’ and start hoistin’! Toss rum barrels, cannonballs, barnacle-crusted chests, an’ whatever flotsam ye can grab into a teeterin’ tower o’ chaos. Balance grog-soaked planks on parrot cages, strap down squealin’ piglets under moldy sails, an’ pray the sea don’t sneeze—one wrong twitch, an’ the whole jumbled mess’ll plunge to the briny deep… along with yer sorry hide. Keep stackin’ till the mast groans, the hull creaks, and the captain cackles like a storm-mad seagull. But beware: if that cargo ain’t stretchin’ clear to the horizon, it’s off the plank for ye—shark bait in a blink! Now *move*, ye lily-livered loot-tossers—the tide’s turnin’, and glory (or a watery grave) awaits!
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